Random, Yet Important Musing – Children & Adoption

Money comes and money goes; that is its design and purpose. It is our children that are an indispensable commodity that we should place a higher value and premium on. Is that extra dollar really for your childs’ future? How can they have a bright future if you didn’t walk with them into it and stood there, beaming with pride, appreciation, validation, and arms ready to catch them if they should need it (sometimes they need to stumble and even fall)? Our children need US! Not someone we assume we think is suitable to raise them. If you can’t handle your children, then don’t have sex. It’s that simple. I don’t plan to raise my child to believe that she shouldn’t have sex unless she’s married, but to not have sex unless she can handle having a child and having a child with the person she’s with. Maybe I’m wrong by many a people’s opinion and I know it’s a bold, left field, out of the blue kind of statement, but I have seen enough and been seeing even more, in various forms of media, that made me feel compelled to say this. It may make me unpopular with some out there, but I don’t really care. There comes a point (and I’ve hit it) where you just have to say what is important to you and stop keeping quiet, simply out of fear of not being politically correct enough, or having someone “unfriend” you on Facebook. We as a people and parents should not allow ourselves to be found in a position if hypocrisy. How can we tell our children “Do not be afraid to stand up for what you believe in.” when so many of us are? I know we do it because we want our children to be better than us, but I think standing up for what you believe in, by atleast saying/admitting what causes or ideas you hold dear to you, is one thing that we should allow to fall into the category of “Do as I say, not as I do”.

I’m tired of hearing about thoughts of abortion or follow-throughs. I’m tired of hearing about couples spending their life savings, money to support their hopeful existence of a child, wrought from their own bodies and/or genetics, when there are so many children being put up for adoption and bounced around through the system, through potentially horrific conditions in foster homes that are just out for the extra buck. Save your money, stress, and ever so precious Hope and love (our ability and capacity for Hope is so unfortunately undervalued and taken completely for granted) and adopt a previous little child, waiting for a good and loving home.

I always said, before my daughter was born that I would only endure two miscarriages and then we would adopt. I went through one – a blighted ovum, to be exact. What is meant to be, will be and I don’t believe that we need drugs to make our families whole. I’ve been pregnant. It’s a wonderful, mind-boggling experience of course, but after that beautiful, little baby comes into the world, it honestly doesn’t even matter that much that you carried him/her/them inside of you and delivered them into this world. In all honesty, it’s just baffling, really – I can hardly even believe it all happened. All that matters, is that child is your’s and if you treat it and care for it, as it deserves to be, no one can take it from you and it can change the world. Genetics aren’t everything; the child and it’s Guardians (really think about that word and what it really means) are all that matters.

My husband’s in the military and I’m a stay-at-home Mompreneur, as an artist – a very subjective field to be in. Not yet a very reliable source of income. Maybe it wasn’t the best financial decision, but my daughter most certaintly isn’t suffering for it. Times are tight, but the bills are paid – even if sometimes VISA does it – but she has atleast me. Always. Pretty good trade off I think. The big screen TV, we once had (it was a 50″ energy sucker) can wait ;)

Before I go, I do think it’s important that I state that I do not condemn people that have undergone fertility treatments or artificial insemination, I can understand the desperate want of a baby that is biologically yours, but I think people turn to these things to quickly and I don’t really think that it’s something that we should be tampering with. I just personally believe that if you can’t have a child “naturally”, then perhaps that’s just The Big Guy’s way of saying that you are meant to love and care for a child that has already been brought into this world.

On another note, I also do not condemn families with two working parents, or working single parents as a whole. I just condemn the ones where both parents are working and they don’t actually have to; the ones that are not working to pay for necessities, but are working so that they can amass frivolous crap. Stuff that means nothing compared to time spent with your child/children.

Alright, enough ranting, methinks.

Wishing You Well, Love, & Happiness,

~Amanda Ramey~

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